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Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aisforamyI really haven't had a lot to say, lately. I feel like I've been in a funk, and not very creative. I usually have SOMETHING creative going on, either in writing or hand crafts or baking or whatever, but right now, all I seem to want to do is read and watch anime. I've read four novels and watched two complete anime series (Ouran High School Host Club and Fruits Basket) plus 50+ episodes of another (Prince of Tennis) in the past three weeks.
The only RP pup that's being particularly loud is one that almost never gets tagged (Mallory Grace) when I give her an EP. I should probably tag out with her more, but then my insecurity kicks in, and I start thinking that if her EPs don't get tagged, then it's because no one wants to play with her, and I shouldn't inflict her on others. Am I the only one who does this?
Other than that, my health as been sort of MEH. I have been getting frequent headaches, which I think are caused by my vision. I am mostly blind in my right eye due to Optic Neuritis, and what I can see out of that eye is kind of like a grainy surveillance camera film: black and white and as if someone smeared grease over the lens of the camera. Because of this, my eye doesn't really focus on anything and tends to wander. I've been likened to a chameleon when this happens because I appear to be looking in two places at once. You can imagine what this does for my self esteem. My eye will wander, and I will get double vision and have trouble focusing on anything when I am especially tired or stressed out. Also...facial spasms! I have a nearly constant twitch in the brow above my right eye; I probably look like a junkie in need of a fix to those who take the time to watch my face at all. I would like this all to STOP, please.
I made an appointment with an ophthalmologist today, but they can't get me in until freaking APRIL 12th. I live in hope that my insurance will cover surgery that will tighten the muscle around my eye and keep it from wandering. In a perfect world, my insurance would also pay for botox injections to stop the facial spasms, but I'm almost afraid to ask if it's covered. I am planning on looking into my options on that one, as the twitching is maddening.
On top of that, I've gained an unacceptable amount of weight. It's my own fault for eating too much unhealthy crap on not exercising enough, but I really do need to get a grip. With my weight and my messed up eye problems, I feel like a troll and it's time do something positive with myself or get used to being unhappy. That's not really an option for me, so I had better get to work.
So, I guess I've been feeling a bit depressed, but I really don't want to go back on my anti depression meds, if I can avoid it.
That's my life in a nutshell, right now. Nothing overly thrilling, so I've just been keeping quiet instead of bitching about it constantly. I've vented, now and that should hold me for a good long while.
The only RP pup that's being particularly loud is one that almost never gets tagged (Mallory Grace) when I give her an EP. I should probably tag out with her more, but then my insecurity kicks in, and I start thinking that if her EPs don't get tagged, then it's because no one wants to play with her, and I shouldn't inflict her on others. Am I the only one who does this?
Other than that, my health as been sort of MEH. I have been getting frequent headaches, which I think are caused by my vision. I am mostly blind in my right eye due to Optic Neuritis, and what I can see out of that eye is kind of like a grainy surveillance camera film: black and white and as if someone smeared grease over the lens of the camera. Because of this, my eye doesn't really focus on anything and tends to wander. I've been likened to a chameleon when this happens because I appear to be looking in two places at once. You can imagine what this does for my self esteem. My eye will wander, and I will get double vision and have trouble focusing on anything when I am especially tired or stressed out. Also...facial spasms! I have a nearly constant twitch in the brow above my right eye; I probably look like a junkie in need of a fix to those who take the time to watch my face at all. I would like this all to STOP, please.
I made an appointment with an ophthalmologist today, but they can't get me in until freaking APRIL 12th. I live in hope that my insurance will cover surgery that will tighten the muscle around my eye and keep it from wandering. In a perfect world, my insurance would also pay for botox injections to stop the facial spasms, but I'm almost afraid to ask if it's covered. I am planning on looking into my options on that one, as the twitching is maddening.
On top of that, I've gained an unacceptable amount of weight. It's my own fault for eating too much unhealthy crap on not exercising enough, but I really do need to get a grip. With my weight and my messed up eye problems, I feel like a troll and it's time do something positive with myself or get used to being unhappy. That's not really an option for me, so I had better get to work.
So, I guess I've been feeling a bit depressed, but I really don't want to go back on my anti depression meds, if I can avoid it.
That's my life in a nutshell, right now. Nothing overly thrilling, so I've just been keeping quiet instead of bitching about it constantly. I've vented, now and that should hold me for a good long while.
